This harsh reality has always existed in our society. It is experienced in many different ways: withholding of vital information, prejudice in professional spaces, and intentional misdirection. It can take a toll on you, but there are a few personal ways to decompress and recalibrate.

What Is Gatekeeping?

Gatekeeping exists in all arenas, fields and areas of where business — and even socialization — is conducted. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, it is “the activity of trying to control who gets particular resources, power, or opportunities and who does not”, which is about hierarchy of power. The term was coined by psychologist Kurt Lewin who had a theory about reporters and how they selected what made headlines based on the topic’s perceived worthiness.

We, especially groups that belong to the minority, experience this at community level and even within the assumed need to approve what we can exude in our own identity.

However, gatekeeping is not just an “in” and “out” decision made by one person; it requires a routine practice to remain in tact. In other words, gatekeeping is an organized act that requires research, shaping and timed dissemination of information with constant monitoring to repeat the practice.

Now let me get onto shaping real quick because this part of it in the grand scheme of of it all is what really tripped me out. In AP Psychology, shaping is seen as a method by which successive assumptions toward a target behavior are reinforced. Did you catch that? Gatekeeping requires communication and, more often than not, it is the response to received communication (the form doesn’t matter).

How To Handle Gatekeeping

Know Your Worth

No one knows the depths of your abilities like you. When you have that understanding and knowing about yourself, it makes it emotionally easier to tackle the feeling of rejection. It is because you know and believe that no matter the obstacle you’re on your path to success through becoming who it is that you’re destined to be — there will be No’s and closed doors.

Keep Your Boundaries

Whether we are aware of it or not, gatekeeping has the ability to dysregulate your nervous system, especially after prolonged periods of time. Know the difference between constructive criticism and personal opinion. Constructive criticism requires genuine compassion and concern for the receiver. Let’s be clear, feedback is required during certain situations, but there’s a clear difference. When you feel that you are being energetically drained from the interaction, it is time to exercise a boundary.

Keep A Healthy Network

I think we underestimate the power of a good conversation. Try reaching out to someone who is knowledgeable of and/or of the same social group. This will not only help to keep you sharp, but counteract the intended emotional pull. Aside from that, notifying your community helps to bring awareness to facilitate change.

Acceptance

Chile sometimes it just is what it is and that’s just that on that (I know it’s so ambiguous). No, but seriously, if you have a hard time moving on from that initial sting, know that trusting in your journey is vital for peace within yourself.

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C O N N E C T – W I T H – M E

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